Title: The Five Times Aaron Hotchner Met Spencer Reid, or When Aaron Met Spencer
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Year: 2010
Category: Romance, Angst w/happy ending, Slash
Ratings: R
Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid
Spoilers: None
Summary: Aaron's life changed one night when he met the enigmatic Dr. Spencer Reid. They were happy for two years, then tragedy struck and Aaron made some life altering decisions. Now five years later he has the chance to win back the man he loves and make things right again. He just has to be willing to work for it and make Spencer believe he isn't going to make those same mistakes again.
Words: 13, 194
Notes: Gift Fic for DarkJediQueen
Warnings: Minor canon-character death
Beta: None
____________________
The First Meeting:
Aaron Hotchner was sitting in a bar that he did not regularly frequent. He needed to get away from his co-workers because he didn’t want to have to answer any questions about his impending divorce. The papers had been sitting on his desk for a week, and he knew he needed to get it over with, but it was still difficult admitting the marriage was over. He supposed it was his pride and he was the one who asked for it when he found out she was cheating on him but it didn’t make it easy. These thoughts were rattling around in his mind as he was nursing a scotch when he felt someone sit next to him at the bar but didn’t pay attention at first.
“Whiskey neat please,” The male voice next to him asked the bartender.
Aaron looked over, and he was struck by the man sitting next to him. He looked young. His hair was a brownish blonde and fell to just below his ears. It was messy but endearing. His clothes reminded Aaron of some of his professors back in his college days. The man was clutching a messenger bag slung over his shoulders, and he looked utterly dejected.
“Rough day?” For some reason, Aaron was compelled to ask.
“Finals week is always rough. Especially when I hear all of the excuses that students come up with to not having their papers completed on time. It’s not as if 18 weeks isn’t enough of a notice for them to actually do the research and ask the questions that they need to. It’s always interesting to me how creative some of them can be though…” The blond saw the amused expression on the face of the man sitting next to him.
“Sorry, I tend to ramble when I get frustrated.”
“It’s okay. I’m Aaron,” He held his hand out for his bar mate to take.
“Um, Spencer,” He looked at the offered hand in consternation, “Sorry, I ah, I don’t-“ He looked at Aaron embarrassed.
“Touch phobia?” Aaron smiled shyly.
“Yes actually, how’d you know?” Spencer frowned slightly.
“I have a minor in psychology, helps in my line of work. It’s easy for me to spot phobias, especially with clients.”
“It’s something I’m trying to work on. JJ keeps telling me I really need be more social, its just I find it difficult to talk to people.”
“Really? You don’t’ seem to have a problem talking to me.” Aaron smiled again, and Spencer’s heart stopped. He’d never seen such a brilliant smile, and the dimples were doing strange things to him.
“Oh, well I guess I’m having an off night.” He smiled back. Aaron’s mouth went dry at the boyish smile the younger man gave him, and he wasn’t sure what to do with it.
“So, Spencer I take it you’re a professor?”
“Yes, I’m a professor in the Cognitive Neuroscience department at Georgetown.”
“Wow, how old are you?” Aaron asked without thinking.
“Oh, I’m ah 27.”
“27 and already a college professor, what did you start college at 12 or something?” He teased.
“Actually, I was 14. I graduated from CalTech with Ph.D.’s in Engineering, Physics, and Math. Then I wanted to do something more, so I moved to DC and enrolled at Georgetown. I got my Masters in Linguistics, Psychology, Sociology and I’m working on Philosophy right now.”
Aaron looked at the younger man like he’d grown two heads, “Ohh-kay. You just made me feel stupid.” He smiled again teasingly.
“Sorry, I don’t really mean to brag, sometimes I just can’t help what I say, especially when I’m nervous.”
“Oh, am I making you nervous Professor Spencer with the 3 Ph.D.’s and the soon to be four masters?” Aaron gave him a bit of a wolfish grin this time.
“Actually, yes you are.” He swallowed nervously. Spencer wasn’t really sure what he was getting into, but he knew he was enjoying the older man’s presence.
“Look I’m not usually this forward, but I find that I don’t really, want to be alone this evening, would you,” Aaron hesitated for just a moment, “Would you like to join me for dinner?” Aaron startled himself. It had been such a long time since he asked anyone out, let alone another man.
“Um, I,” Spencer looked over, at Aaron and he wasn’t sure why but he was quickly answering before he knew what he was saying, “Yes, I think I’d like that.”
There it was again that brilliant smile. “Okay, let me just pay for, these and we’ll get out of here.”
Aaron paid for both drinks over the protests of Spencer, and they walked out of the bar together. Aaron found out that Spencer had walked over, so he drove them to his favorite restaurant. After they got seated, Spencer asked Aaron about his job.
“So, Aaron, what do you do? You know, for a living,” He was suddenly shyer than he’d been back at the bar.
“I’m a prosecutor for the Virginia Department of Justice.”
“Oh, that must be interesting.”
“It can be, but it’s also frustrating sometimes. I often don’t really feel like I’m making any kind of difference,” Aaron sighed deeply and sipped at his wine.
“Then why stay? If you feel stuck what keeps you there?”
Aaron quirked up his brow and pondered what he was going to say for a moment, “Because the times that I get that victory and another killer is brought to justice I feel at that moment like I’ve done something good. I know it’s a bit of an ego boost, but I do care. And I’ve worked closely with the FBI in recent years and that sometimes really makes me see that I have made a difference. Even if it prevents someone else from being hurt by taking a perpetrator off the streets, then I’m doing my job.”
“Then you should feel good about what you do. So what have you done for the FBI?”
“Oh, I’ve consulted here and there for the BAU. I’ve also helped them with some of their protocols over the years. Their Unit Chief and I met during a particularly nasty case, and we’ve been friends ever since.”
“Do you mean Jason Gideon?” Spencer smiled at the name.
“Yes, do you know him?” Aaron asked surprise coloring his voice.
“Yes, we met when I was at CalTech. He was actively trying to recruit me. Though I thought about it quite extensively, I’ve found that I really have come to enjoy teaching. I also have consulted with them from time to time.”
“Well, seems we have two things in common Professor Spencer…you know I never got your last name,” Aaron smiled at Spencer again, and the younger man was really not sure what was going on, but he liked the feeling.
“Um Reid, Dr. Spencer Reid,” He also flashed his brilliant smile. “And you Aaron?”
“Oh um Hotchner, Aaron Hotchner, but everyone just calls me either Aaron or Hotch.”
“Hotch, I kinda like it.” There’s that shy smile again, thought Aaron, “So, are you married?” Spencer had noticed the tan line on the other man’s, finger but he didn’t want to assume.
“Soon not to be actually. We’re getting a divorce. Seems Haley couldn’t take the long hours that I often put in at the office. She assumed that being a lawyer was a nine-to-five thing. Then when she had our son Jack well things just didn’t get better.” Aaron looked down at his plate as a bit of sadness came over him.
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to bring up anything you’re uncomfortable with.” Spencer looked back hoping he hadn’t made a social faux pau.
Aaron smiled again then realized that he hadn’t smiled this much in a very long time. “It’s okay, it’s been a long time coming. We both were just too stubborn to see it.” Aaron scrutinized the young man across from him and wondered, not for the first time during the evening, how a total stranger had caught his attention so much.
Spencer was squirming a bit under the look that Aaron was giving him and wondered what was going through the lawyer's mind.
“Listen, I ah I have had a very good time, and I was wondering,” Aaron cleared his throat, “I was wondering if you’d like to do this again, sometime.” Aaron didn’t want to hope. He also didn’t want to speculate on why he was asking the man across from him out on another possible date.
“You did? I mean I did too, had a nice time that is.” Spencer was fidgety, and he didn’t quite know what to do with his hands. “I think I’d like that Aaron,” His breath caught again at the look that Aaron Hotchner was giving him. He thought that if they continued this, whatever it was, that smile alone would do him in.
“Do you need a ride back to the bar? Or,” Aaron’s mouth went dry for a moment, “I could take you home.”
“Um, yes I’d like that,” Suddenly Spencer was shy. He wasn’t quite sure what Aaron meant, but he liked that he wanted to find out.
Aaron waved down the waiter and settled the check under Spencer’s protests, “Look you saved me from a night of complete boredom. This is my treat. Maybe next time I’ll let you treat me.” His eyes flashed darkly, and Spencer could swear he felt desire coming from the older man, but he didn’t want to speculate.
“Oh, okay. Then I’m ready when you are.” They left the restaurant and quickly settled into Aaron’s car.
Spencer gave him directions, and before he knew it Aaron was saying goodnight to the younger man.
“You could ah come in for coffee,” Spencer’s breath was shallow, and his mouth was dry as his eyes went to Aaron’s lips.
Aaron cupped Spencer’s cheek and slowly moved in for a kiss, “Tell me no, and I’ll stop now.”
Spencer didn’t say anything as Aaron leaned in for a kiss. It was soft and sweet, and Spencer found himself moaning against the older man. Before he knew what was happening the kiss was deepened as Aaron changed angles and it went right to Spencer’s core. After a moment Aaron pulled away.
“I’d like to come in for coffee Spencer, but maybe not tonight. I have to finish things with Haley. It’s been,” His face clouded, “Difficult and I don’t want to give her any ammunition, and I wouldn’t want you brought into our problems. Here,” Aaron pulled out a card and handed it to the Professor, “Call me, and I’ll let you know when things are settled.” He saw the crestfallen look that Spencer gave him, “I want to do this again I like you Professor Spencer Reid, and I want to get to know you, just be a little patient with me?” Aaron slowly smiled, and Spencer closed his eyes committing it to memory.
“Okay Aaron, I’ll call.” Spencer couldn’t help it he grabbed the older man into another kiss before letting him go and watched him walk away. “Oh boy, what the hell am I getting myself into.” Spencer thought to himself. He was surprised to know that he truly wanted to find out.
_________________________
The Second Meeting:
1 Week Later
A few days after meeting the Professor, Aaron was smiling for once while in the office. David Rossi, his longtime friend and law partner cornered him in his office.
“So, Aaron, what has put a smile on your face these last couple of days? I know it’s not Haley, so, did you meet someone?” Dave gave him a wolfish grin.
At first, Aaron was going to lie, but he didn’t want to he wanted to tell his best friend about his out of the blue date, “Actually yes, yes I did.” Aaron’s face split into another grin as he thought about the kiss.
“Well, whoever she is she must be something else because you haven’t scowled or glared at any of the secretaries or paralegals in days. They were starting to worry something was wrong with you.”
Aaron quirked his brow and smirked a little, “Well, he is pretty interesting.”
Rossi was caught off guard for a moment, “I see. Is this something new or,“ He really was at a loss for words.
Aaron laughed a deep throaty laugh, “No Dave this is not something new, but I don’t really want to go over my past sex life with you.”
Just then Aaron’s office phone rang, “Excuse me Dave, I’ll be just a moment.” He reached over and answered, “Hotchner,” He said all business suddenly, then his face lit up, and he smiled, “Hey Spencer, I was wondering if you were going to call.”
“Well, I was just thinking about the other night. I hope this isn’t too soon.” Spencer asked nervously.
“No, no it’s not. Did you want to get a drink and maybe discuss things?” Aaron knew he was evasive, but he didn’t want Rossi to find out more than he already did.
“Sure, same place or,” Spencer was cut off by some squealing in the background, “Um, I ah I have to go, can I text you later?”
“Sure,” Aaron gave him his personal cell number, hung up the phone and turned back to his friend. “Well, Dave, I ah need to get back to work.” Aaron gave him his customary glare hoping he’d take the hint.
“Okay Aaron I get it you want me to leave, but don’t think that scowl fools me.” He smirked at the younger man as he made his way to his office.
A few minutes later he received a text from Spencer, same place 7:00 okay? Aaron looked over his desk and figured that he could get most of this done and meet his date by the appointed time. He texted back sounds perfect.
At around 6:25 Aaron cleaned-up his desk, left a few notes for his secretary and left. He made it to the bar precisely at 7:00. He smiled wide when he saw the younger man sitting there nursing a drink.
“Have you been waiting long?” Aaron asked him as he walked up and sat down.
Spencer turned, “No you’re right on time. Should I assume that you are usually this punctual?” He teased.
“I try to be. It comes with the territory of the endless schedules I have to keep.” Aaron leaned over and kissed Spencer, cupping his cheek, “I thought about you all week. I was wondering if I scared you off or if you were going to call.”
“No, I didn’t get scared,” He dipped his head down, “Well maybe I did, but just a little.” Spencer looked shyly at the older man.
After a couple of minutes of staring, Spencer finally said something.
“Come on, I have a place in mind.” Spencer started towards the door, and Aaron got up to follow. “I brought my car this time, do you want to meet me there or,” He couldn’t help staring at the older man.
“Why don’t we take my car and go from there.”
“Okay,” They got in Aaron’s car and Spencer gave directions to where he wanted to take Aaron. It was a small Italian restaurant with a nice dark atmosphere.
“I hope this isn’t too, ah, romantic,” Spencer swallowed hard as they were seated.
Aaron looked around and was pleased, “No not too romantic.” He said huskily. He didn’t know what it was about Spencer Reid that was turning him into a horny sixteen-year-old boy. A part of him really just wanted to take the young man right here right now, but he swallowed back his growing lust.
They had an excellent meal as they talked. Bothe men talked a little about their work if either of them had seen Jason recently, which neither had. Aaron talked about his son, Jack and Spencer could see that he was trying to be a good father for the toddler. They also talked a bit about their families.
“I guess I should tell you something right now because If I’m not mistaken I think we may be having more dates. At least I hope we are,” Spencer asked hesitantly.
Aaron smiled, “I would most definitely like that Spencer. Whatever you tell me can’t really be that bad.”
“My mother, she’s,” He hesitated a moment, “She’s got schizophrenia. I had to put her in Bennington Sanitarium when I was eighteen. I just couldn’t help her anymore.” He smiled sadly. “I write her a letter every day though.”
“Wow, that had to be tough. Didn’t your Dad help you?” Aaron had a bad feeling that this young man had gone through more than most his age should have.
“My Dad walked out when I was ten.” He looked up at Aaron hoping that this wasn’t going to scare the man off.
“I’m so sorry Spencer. No one should have to deal with that alone like you did.” He studied the expression on the professor’s face for a moment, “This doesn’t scare me off,” He took a chance and laid a hand on Spencer’s arm.
Spencer liked the feel of Aaron’s hand, he smiled and didn’t pull away. “Good. What about you?”
“My family is from Virginia. My mother is from Manassas, old family old money,” He said with a bit of derision in his voice, “My father,” Aaron’s face darkened. He hadn’t meant to bring up his father.
“It’s okay Aaron you don’t have to tell me.” Spencer wasn’t stupid he guessed that the attractive lawyer didn’t have the best childhood.
“Are you gentlemen done?” A waitress came up and asked with a smile. They both nodded yes, “Would you like any dessert?”
“Do you have anything with chocolate in it?” Spencer asked wide eyed with a boyish smile.
“Actually, we have a sampler. It’s got a chocolate dipped cannoli with chocolate cream, a small dish of dark chocolate gelato, a piece of tiramisu with a chocolate drizzle and a coffee pannacotta drizzled with chocolate and crumbled hazelnuts.” She rattled off.
He looked over at Aaron, “Want to share?” He asked excitedly.
Aaron was smiling at Spencer’s exuberance, “Why not, and two espressos?” Spencer nodded.
“Well, this is the second time I’ve had a very enjoyable evening with you, Professor Spencer Reid.” Aaron’s eyes darkened as he thought about the end of this date. Would he run again or would he stay? He didn’t know.
“I’ve had a good time with you too Aaron,” Spencer murmured, looking at the lawyer shyly. When their dessert and coffees came Aaron took the spoon away from Spencer.
“Hey,” Spencer looked shocked.
“Shh,” Aaron took the spoon and scooped up some gelato and fed it to Spencer. The younger man wrapped his lips around the spoon and slowly pulled the cold, creamy ice cream into his mouth. He hummed at the dark rich taste, and Aaron thought he might cum right then and there without anyone touching him.
“Has anyone told you how sexy you are Professor?” Aaron smiled seductively.
Spencer swallowed hard, “Um no not really,” Spencer’s breathing was shallow as he watched Aaron as he picked up some of the pannacotta and took a bite himself.
This time it was Spencer who was feeling overwhelmed, but Aaron didn’t let up he would take a bite of something, then feed Spencer a bit of something. By the time the plate was finished Spencer had thought he was going to melt into a puddle right then and there.
“So, how do we end this date, Professor?” Aaron asked huskily.
“What ah, what do you mean Counselor?” Spencer breathed heavily as his nerves started to get the better of him.
Aaron smiled almost wolfishly, “Your place or mine?” Aaron knew it was a cliché, but by his dates face, it did the trick.
“We could go back to my place.” Spencer fidgeted, “If that’s what you want.”
Aaron cupped Spencer's cheek and slowly stroked a thumb across, “Yes I would very much like that.” Aaron said huskily.
Spencer paid this time, and Aaron drove back to the bar so Spencer could pick up his car. Aaron followed him back to the younger man’s apartment.
Once inside Aaron threw off his jacket loosened his tie and sat with Spencer on the couch. They were kissing softly for a few minutes then Spencer moved to straddle Aaron. He placed his hands on Aaron’s face and slowly deepened the kiss. Aaron’s hands came up to fist in the too long soft curly hair. His hips bucked up to meet Spencer’s as he slowly ground himself on Aaron’s lap.
After a few minutes and fewer clothes later Spencer pulled back, “Are you sure?” He asked as lust filled his voice.
“I’ve never been surer,” Aaron said as his hands roamed the soft, creamy white flesh under his hands. He pulled Spencer back to him as he kissed him deeply, his lips softly moving back and forth across Spencer’s as his tongue darted out, licking at the soft lips demanding entrance.
Spencer opened for him, and their tongues swept across each other twining around as Aaron explored the young genius’s mouth. He captured Spencer’s tongue in his mouth and slowly sucked it causing Spencer to moan deeply.
Spencer ground down harder on Aaron’s crotch, their erections making contact through their clothing.
“Oh god, Aaron,” Spencer panted out as he slid down Aaron’s body unbuckling his pants and reaching in for the older man’s cock. Aaron lifted his hips and pushed his pants down to give Spencer better access.
Spencer’s mouth enveloped Aaron’s hard cock, his tongue licking and sucking the head. Aaron’s head was thrown back on the couch as his hands were fisted in the younger man’s hair. He bucked his hips into Spencer’ willing mouth wanting, no needing more friction.
“Fuck Spencer, your mouth is wicked,” Aaron yelled out as he held Spencer’s face in his hands and started moving faster. Spencer hollowed his cheeks as he sucked, flicking his tongue over the head as Aaron thrust in over and over.
Suddenly he stilled, he didn’t want to end things so quickly, but if Spencer kept this up he was going to.
“Aaron?” Spencer questioned.
Aaron smiled, “It’s okay I just don’t want things to end quite yet.” He stood, stepped out of his pants and walked into Spencer’s bedroom confidently. Spencer followed shakily shoving his pants and boxers off himself.
When he got there Aaron grabbed him and shoved him against the wall kissing him again fiercely. After a few seconds, Aaron slid down Spencer’s body and took the younger man’s cock in his mouth. Spencer threw his head back and cried out as he felt Aaron’s mouth wrap around him.
Aaron licked a long stripe up Spencer’s thin but heavy erection, and when he took the head in his mouth Spencer wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold back.
“God, Aaron, so good,” Spencer fisted his hands in the older man’s hair. After a few minutes, Aaron moved back up Spencer’s body kissing, nipping with his teeth and gently biting as he went. He took one of Spencer’s nipples in his mouth and sucked on it making it hard, and when he gently bit down the young professor arched into the feel of Aaron’s mouth on him.
“Spencer,” Aaron looked at him, “I really want to,” He said as he aligned their erections and started to move, so they rubbed against each other.
“Drawer, lube, condoms,” Spencer panted out. Aaron smiled and grabbed the items from the drawer. He pulled his young lover onto the bed with him and again went back to slowly kissing him, sucking and biting at the soft flesh beneath him. He positioned himself between Spencer’s thighs as he slicked up his fingers. Aaron slowly slid one finger inside and started to thrust in and out seeking Spencer’s prostate. When he found it Spencer bucked up wildly.
“More, oh god Aaron, more,” He almost cried at the sensations the prosecutor was causing. Again, Aaron’s mouth took possession of his lover’s cock and soon Aaron was thrusting three fingers inside preparing his lover for more.
“Yes, god Aaron please,” Spencer was mewling out his need as his hips bucked wildly.
“What do you want Spencer? Tell me,” Aaron asked huskily. He went back to kissing the professor again passionately with deep bruising rough kisses.
“Inside me, please Aaron, I want you inside me,” He begged.
Aaron sat up and quickly rolled the condom on and used more lube and when he slowly slid inside he threw back his head, “So tight Spencer, god so fucking tight,” He grabbed the younger man’s hips and started to move fast, hard and deep.
“Yes Aaron, faster please,” Spencer cried out as Aaron sped up his movements thrusting hard and deep hitting his prostate just right.
Aaron fisted Spencer’s erection and started to pump, twisting slightly as his hand sped up in time to his thrusts. He could feel how close the younger man was. “Cum for me Spencer, I want to watch you,” He said in a deep lust filled voice. Spencer obeyed as his orgasm ripped right from the core of him. He came hard in Aaron’s hand as Aaron felt his own release, he cried out Spencer’s name as he collapsed down onto the professor. Aaron pulled out and took care of the condom, using some tissue to clean him and Spencer up. He then pulled the young genius to him and held him tightly.
“God, it’s been a while,” Spencer shyly told his lover.
“Believe it or not me too.” Aaron smiled down at the young man in his arms.
“I take it I’m not you’re first male…encounter?” He asked the lawyer.
“No, you’re not the first man I’ve had sex with if that is what you’re asking.” Aaron laughed.
Spencer sat up slightly on one arm, “Aaron,” He took a deep breath before he started to say what he wanted to. “I hope, I mean tonight was fantastic and I, well,” He knew he was fumbling, but Spencer wanted to make sure this wasn’t a one-time thing, he hoped it wasn’t.
Aaron smiled as he cupped Spencer’s chin, “No this isn’t a one-time thing,” Aaron sensed where the professor’s thoughts had gone. He pulled the young genius back to him and kissed him deeply.
While caressing him, his hands roaming over Spencer he felt small scars on the professor’s elbow.
“Oh, um I guess you should know. I had a problem for a while back in college.” He sat up suddenly and pulled his long legs against his chest as if he was protecting himself. “I was getting these awful migraines. Stress, they said, I tried everything, and they didn’t go away. A friend gave me something, told me it would help and by that time I was desperate. I found out too late it was a narcotic, Dilauded. Funny thing was it did help ease the pain, but I got addicted. I’ve been clean for years, it took a while, but I realized that I was only hurting myself.” He looked at Aaron hoping that this confession wouldn’t scare the older man away.
“Professor, this doesn’t scare me either.” Aaron sat up and gently pulled Spencer’s arms away. He dipped his head and licked at the scars, kissing them sucking at the inside of Spencer’s elbow.
“Oh god, Aaron,” Spencer’s eyes closed as his head fell back against the headboard. Aaron pulled the genius back under him kissing him, worshipping him.
Aaron stayed the night and they made love again reaching for each other both wondering just where the relationship was going to go hoping for a future together.
The next morning was Saturday, and as much as Aaron wanted to stay it was his weekend with his son. He left Spencer with promises of phone calls, then a kiss before he walked out the door.
Aaron was smiling when he got to the house to pick-up Jack.
As soon as the door opened a light brown mop of hair came flying at him, “Daddy,” Jack cried out as he clung to his father’s leg.
“Aaron,” Haley said in a sharp tone. They had just signed the divorce, papers and they both were feeling a little raw.
“Haley,” Aaron said in a quiet, measured voice as he picked up Jack.
“I tried calling you last night, but you didn’t answer your phone.” She glared at him.
Aaron had seen the messages on his phone when he finally pulled himself away from the professor. “I,” He wanted to lie to her because he didn’t want the fight, but Aaron knew he couldn’t. If there was one thing about Aaron Hotchner it was his brutal honesty. “I was on a date.” He finally told her.
“Really, a date we barely signed the divorce papers and you are already after another woman, typical.” She said snidely.
“Haley, I’m not the one that was fucking around in the marriage, now was I?” He hadn’t meant to deliver such a low blow, but she was pushing his buttons already.
She narrowed her eyes and then realized he was holding their son. She took a deep breath, “Let’s not rehash everything. So, what’s she like?” Haley asked.
“You really want to have this conversation with me standing on the porch?” Aaron furrowed his brow.
“No, come in.” She stepped aside to let him in.
Aaron sighed, he wasn’t sure he wanted to tell her about Spencer just yet, but since he told her he had a date Aaron would be honest with her. They sat down, and he pulled Jack on his lap hugging his son close.
“Haley before you start asking questions I will tell you the truth.” He hesitated a moment, “My date was with another man.” He didn’t take his eyes off her as he told her.
Her shock was quite evident, and it took her a while to process what Aaron said, “So, are you having some kind of post-divorce life crises?” Haley was confused, she knew he looked at other men from time, to time and she’d joke about it, but that’s a far cry from dating.
“No, Haley I’m not. Spencer is,” He couldn’t help smiling thinking of their two dates, “Different.”
“Will he be around Jack?” She asked sharper than she meant to.
“Look, it’s only been a couple of dates we’re not sure where it’s going, but if I introduce him to Jack, I will tell you first.”
“A couple of dates? How long has this been going on Aaron?” She knew she sounded, bitchy but she just couldn’t believe that he was moving on so quickly.
“We met late last week, and it was a spontaneous dinner date. I had met him at the bar in Morton’s Grillhouse. I asked him to dinner because I didn’t want to be alone. Last night was only our second date, and I don’t see where I have the need to explain this to you.” He was getting upset, more at himself, that he was letting Hayley manipulate him.
“You don’t, of course, I’m sorry.” She looked to the side and thought for the hundredth time how she regretted much of what happened in the later years of their marriage. She had defined herself so much as Aaron Hotchner’s wife that she lost who she was. And when he didn’t play by her rules and what she wanted or how she thought their lives should go she started seeking out men and having affairs. When he filed for divorce, she knew Aaron was just done with her behavior, and she almost didn’t blame him. She realized when she was served just what it was she lost.
He had studied her for a long time trying to understand what had become of them. Maybe they were too young when they fell in love, perhaps their love wasn’t meant to last, and maybe trying to be changed by her he rebuffed and started to pull away. He’s not really sure, and these were old questions he didn’t want to revisit, not now anyway. He knew he loved her, would always love her, but he was no longer in love with her. Maybe that right there was the problem. They didn’t know how to move on from being in love to just loving one another.
“Well, I need to go. I’ll take Jack to daycare on Monday on my way to the office.” He told her as he stood with the toddler in his arms. She gave him the small suitcase they were using for the few things he’d need for the weekend. Aaron did something that he hadn’t done in a long while, he bent and kissed her cheek. It wasn’t out of habit, but it was somehow an unspoken truce between them, and she would accept it hoping it was the first step in them finding common ground again.
_________________________
Spencer was underneath his lover, moving with him, eyes bright with love. Kisses were passionate, as was the touching, biting and scratching. If there was one thing Spencer realized early on in this relationship was that Aaron Hotchner could be extremely adventurous when prodded. When both were spent lying side by side Aaron propped up on his elbow and looked down at the man he fell in love with two years prior.
“Happy Anniversary Professor,” Aaron smiled wide as he caressed his lover’s cheek.
“Happy Anniversary Counselor,” Spencer closed his eyes and thought back to the fateful day that they had met. The last two years with Aaron Hotchner have been more than Spencer could have ever hoped for. For some strange reason, the older man understood him like no one ever had. Aaron often joked saying that he wasn’t smart enough for Spencer, but when he gave Aaron his phone number in Roman numerals and the man smiled Spencer knew he was hooked.
They had spent a wonderful day with Aaron’s son Jack, who was sleeping soundly in his room. They got a babysitter and went for a nice meal then they came back to Aaron’s apartment and slowly made love which turned into wild, desperate passion.
Now they lay in each other’s arms happy and content. Until…
The phone rang at 2:00 a.m.
The rush to get Jack up and them out the door to the hospital, they were there by 2:45 a.m.
The officer telling Aaron about the car accident and the drunk driver that hit her, 3:30 a.m.
The pronouncement that Haley Brooks previously Haley Hotchner was dead 4:15 a.m.
The knowledge that Aaron was leaving him, the day after Haley’s funeral, three days after her death, four days after their anniversary.
The knock on his door wasn’t unexpected, and when he opened it Aaron was standing there with a lost look on his face.
“Aaron, come in,” Spencer widened his door for his lover to come in and when he didn’t Spencer started to panic inside. “Aaron?”
“Spencer,” He felt hollow, part of him told himself this was wrong, what he was about to do was wrong, but he couldn’t stop himself. He needed to concentrate on Jack, or so he thought. He wasn’t considering his own feelings and what he wanted. But, isn’t that why he and Haley broke-up? He concentrated on what he wanted? Well, now he needed to concentrate on his son.
“Spencer, I can’t stay, I,” He willed the tears not to start, “I can’t do this. Jack needs me more than ever and I can’t,” He was frozen, losing Haley blew a hole in his heart, and he didn’t know how to recover. He was aware that he was probably making a mistake, but he couldn’t give to Spencer, not now, maybe not for a long time, and he knew Spencer wouldn’t wait forever.
“What are you saying, Aaron? Are you, are you leaving me?” Spencer’s heart was racing. He loved this man more than anything and would do anything for him he didn’t understand what was going on.
“Spence,” In the back of his mind he knew he was making a mistake but he just couldn’t, all he kept thinking about was Jack. “Please, I have to think about Jack right now I,“ His breath hitched and more than anything he wanted to rush into the apartment and fall into the body of Dr. Spencer Reid, but he didn’t. That frozen part of him, the one where he walled-up his heart wouldn’t let him. “I’m sorry Professor.” He said as he walked away broken.
Spencer stood there too stunned to move to shocked to call out, too heartbroken to fight. Finally, he softly closed the door and curled up on the couch and cried. He called his friend Emily who immediately rushed over.
“He left me,” Was all he said as she let herself into his apartment. “Why’d he leave me? We were happy Emily.” She closed her eyes and settled herself before she walked over and pulled her friend into a hug.
“Grief, it can make people do stupid crazy, things, Spencer.” She cursed Aaron Hotchner seeing her broken friend.
“What do I do now?” He looked so lost, and so young Emily didn’t know what to do for him.
“Well, for now, you cry, curse, eat lots of ice cream, then you pick yourself up, and you move on.” Emily knew it was easier said than done, but it was what he needed to hear now.
“I can’t, I can’t do that. I love him Em. Why? Why can’t he let me help?” Spencer broke down and all Emily could think to do was hold him as he broke. Emily didn’t know what to say so she didn’t say anything. It was a long night, but she stayed with him. Emily knew much of, his past and she was a little fearful of what Spencer would do if left alone.
In the morning Spencer came out of his room still devastated, how had things gone so quickly from happy to broken he’ll never understand. He felt hollow like someone had blown this huge hole in his heart and he didn’t know if it could ever be repaired.
“Hey Spence,” Emily had stayed, she slept on his couch then in the morning she ran out and got them bagels and coffee. Spencer reached for the coffee but ignored the food. He didn’t think he could eat anything right now.
“Emily thank you for staying, but,” When he looked up at her a little bit of something broke in her. He looked lost and so alone. “I just need to be alone right now.” He walked back into his bedroom and shut the door.
She sighed deeply and shook her head. She grabbed her stuff and knew that nothing she could do or say would help.
There was one thing she could do, though and when she stormed out of the genius’s apartment she called Aaron Hotchner’s office and got an appointment to see him.
“Miss Prentiss, what can I do for you?” He glared hard at her. He thought he knew what she was there for. Spencer had mentioned an Emily on many occasions, but they had never officially met.
“I’m not going to beat around the bush, you’re an ass. I just left one of my best friends who is utterly devastated. You broke him in ways that I’ve never seen.” Her anger was pouring off of her in waves.
“Miss Prentiss my relationship with Spencer Reid is none of your business. Now if that is what you are here for then I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” He stared, her down and she understood at that moment how juries must feel when he walked into a courtroom. However, she wasn’t going to be intimidated.
“Oh, it certainly is my business when he calls me after you leave him and I spend all night watching him slowly breakdown. How could you do this?”
Aaron sighed deeply. He knows he hurt Spencer, but he really thought he was doing the right thing. “Look, Miss Prentiss,” His voice faltered for a moment because, despite his exterior attitude, he was breaking down inside himself. “I have to put all my energy to my son. He’s only four, and he’s devastated,” His voice cracked. He willed his tears not to fall, he wasn’t going to show his weakness in front of a stranger. “I need to take care of him.”
Emily wasn’t immune to his pain, and she could tell through the stoic demeanor this man was putting up that he was hurting deeply.
“Mr. Hotchner believe me I understand but wouldn’t it be better to be with those that you care about the most? Doesn’t your son like Spencer?”
Aaron closed his eyes because he understood what she was trying to say to him, “Please Miss Prentiss, don’t make this harder for me.”
“Fine, but I think you are being stupid.” She got up and left. Aaron knew she was probably right, but he just couldn’t get past the pain and see he wasn’t hurting just Spencer, but himself and Jack as well.
_________________________
THE THIRD MEETING
Five years later:
Aaron was in Las Vegas at the prodding of David Rossi. He had needed a vacation but this wasn’t necessarily what he had in mind. Jessica, Haley’s sister, was taking care of his son Jack while he was out of town.
“Come on Aaron, loosen up and enjoy yourself.” Dave had been worried about his best friend. The unhappy frozen state that he had been in had lasted since his ex-wife’s death.
“Dave, I’m still not sure how I let you talk me into this. I don’t even like Vegas.” Aaron chuckled.
“You needed to get out of the office, the Foyet case and dealing with Derek Morgan was putting you on edge. You need time away.” Dave eyed him, “And maybe you’ll actually have a little fun in the meantime.” Rossi took a drink of his scotch.
“I’ll try okay?” He smiled and shook his head. “When are our dinner reservations again?”
“7:30 at Craftsteak at the MGM. Don’t be late.” Dave laughed as he walked away to go try his hand at some of the tables.
At a loss of what to do, Aaron walked the casino for a while window shopping at some of the high-end stores. He actually saw some Armani suits that he liked and decided to go try them on. When Aaron walked out, he was a couple of grand poorer, but he had needed something new. When Aaron got back to the main floor he was feeling a little adventurous so he picked a blackjack table and decided to sit in on a few hands.
He was up 2500 dollars and decided to stop there. He had a streak of good luck, and the money would go to offset the cost of the clothes he just bought. As he was tapping out a man sat at the table next to him.
“Nice winnings. You must have had a lucky streak.” When he looked to the side he was shocked.
“Spencer,” Aaron said breathlessly. He never quite got over his feelings for the professor, and he deeply regretted letting the best thing to ever happen to him go.
“Hello, Aaron. I was quite surprised to see you here.” Spencer smiled sadly for he had never truly gotten over Aaron Hotchner. He was shocked when he came to the hotel to do a little-needed shopping and saw his ex-lover there.
“I thought you were banned in all casinos,” The lawyer joked.
“Not all, just most. Besides, I know the pit boss here. He sometimes lets me sit in on tables. I watch to see if anyone is cheating but still get to play some.” He didn’t know what else to say.
“How have you been?” God Aaron, that’s a stupid question, isn’t it? Aaron thought.
“I’ve been good. My mom is on some new medication, and they seem to be working better. She’s actually been on some outings and hasn’t had an episode. Though these second gen drugs do have some critical side effects, I’ve been working closely with Dr. Norman making sure nothing goes wrong.” He knows he’s rambling, but he can’t help it.
“Do you,” Aaron took a deep breath, “Never mind, I guess I’ll see you around then?” Aaron knew there wasn’t any hope there wasn’t any way to get back to what they were and he was saddened by the mistakes that he made.
“Aaron, I’d love to get a drink,” Spencer knew what the older man was going to ask, and he wanted it more than anything.
“Spence,” Aaron fidgeted while he collected his chips. “Are you sure?” He was suddenly shy where before he’d been confident.
Spencer smiled, “Yes I’m sure. There’s an enchanting bar over at the Wynn called Parasol Up, meet me there in half an hour.” Spencer got up and left.
“Oh god, what are you doing Aaron?” He said to himself, but he made his way to the Wynn, and precisely a half hour later he found Spencer sipping a glass of whiskey.
“This is an interesting bar,” Aaron looked up at the whimsical umbrella themed bar.
“I don’t come to the strip often, but when I do this is my favorite bar. It’s whimsical, I love watching the surprised looks on people’s faces at the unexpected theme.”
As soon as he sat down a waitress came over to take his order. He got his customary scotch and slowly sipped. The two men at one time had been so free and easy with each other, now they were awkward and quiet.
“So, I tried to find you,” Aaron said quietly, “It was about a year after,” Haley’s death was still a sore spot and probably always would be. “I realized what an ass I was. I had hoped it wasn’t too late, but I guess,“ He cut himself off he didn’t know what else to say.
“Aaron,” Spencer looked down at the drink in his hand and thought for a moment, “I have missed you. I had hoped that one day,” He looked up with hazel eyes glistening. “But we can’t truly ever go back, can we?”
“I had an analyst try to follow the rather convoluted trail you left. I was with you up until Arizona, but it didn’t make sense, and she couldn’t comprehend what you were doing,” Aaron laughed at that. “It wasn’t until Jack was doing some advanced math that I realized it had to do with the Fibonacci sequence, but by then,” Aaron looked away into the casino still at a loss for words.
“I saw your press conference recently on the Foyet case. So they finally caught The Boston Reaper huh?” Spencer kept up with Aaron. Some of his friends told him it was an obsession, but they just couldn’t understand.
“Yeah, the case was pretty much a bitch. Shaunessy made so many mistakes and taking that deal has pretty much ruined the Boston Police Department. They’ve had to do a lot of damage control. It’s been a prosecutorial nightmare, but it’s over now thank god. He’s behind maximum security, and we can rest just a little easier.” Suddenly it felt like it had in those early days of getting to know each other.
“So, what have you been doing?” Aaron asked shyly.
“I was able to get a position at The University of Las Vegas. Math and Engineering department.” He watched Aaron for a moment, “I miss Georgetown though.” The double meaning wasn’t lost on Aaron.
“Look, I ah I have dinner reservations with David but after,” Aaron pulled out some money to pay for their drinks, “If you’re not busy that is,” He was stumbling on his words, “I know what a night owl you are.”
“Aaron, yes I’d love to see you again.” He smirked, “Here, my number.” He handed Aaron a piece of paper that had Roman numerals on it, and Aaron smiled, it was Spencer’s way of reminding him what they had once meant to each other.
“I’ll ah, I’ll call you when I’m done.” He stood to leave then he turned, “I’ve missed you too Spencer.” Aaron had said before he rushed out of there. Too many emotions were running through him, and he needed some distance.
Dinner with Dave was pleasant, but he found that he was anxiously waiting till the end to call Spencer back.
“What has got your panties in a twist, Aaron?” Dave had noticed the anxiety in his friend all night.
“What makes you ask that?” Aaron frowned as his stoic mask was firmly in place.
“Oh, I don’t know you keep looking at your watch like you want to be someplace else,” Dave smirked at his friend.
“Sorry,” Aaron took a deep breath, “Believe it or not I ran into Spencer,” He waited to see what Dave was going to say.
“Oh really?” When Aaron had broken off things with Spencer he had tried to talk his friend out of it. His grief made him make some foolish decisions and letting Spencer go was the most idiotic mistake he ever made.
“Shocked me,” Aaron looked down at his empty plate, “I made so many mistakes Dave.”
“Yes, you did. Don’t make even more.” Dave was trying to warn him, but he knew he needed to see Spencer.
“I just need to see him, Dave,” He sighed and looked out of the restaurant hoping, for what he didn’t know, but if he had to he’d take it one day at a time.
“Okay Aaron, just be careful.” They paid for their meals said their good nights and parted ways for the rest of the evening.
Aaron called Spencer who gave him directions to his apartment. Aaron was nervous, more nervous than he’d ever been.
“Hi, come in.” Spencer moved aside to let Aaron in.
They stood there for what seemed like forever when Aaron slowly moved in and cupped Spencer’s cheek. When he leaned in for a kiss and found no resistance Aaron plunged ahead and kissed Spencer, long and deep. He broke the kiss suddenly then pulled the man into him holding him tightly, “God Professor, I was a fool.” He tried to stem the tide of emotions that were starting to overwhelm him.
“Aaron,” He pulled back and whatever he was going to say was lost when he saw the silent tears running down Aaron’s face. He kissed the older man holding him close.
Before either of them really knew what they were doing they found themselves naked and on Spencer’s bed. Their lovemaking was frantic and passionate. It told them everything and nothing at the same time. And when Spencer came hard deep inside his one-time lover he thought he was lost all over again.
They lay entwined in each other neither man wanting to move or say anything. They slowly drifted off to sleep, but in the early hours of the morning Aaron felt a warm wet mouth on his reignited erection. They took their time, slowed their pace, and it was Aaron’s turn to fill the younger man. When his movements stilled, and he came on a strangled cry Spencer just reached up and held him tightly. They soon fell back to sleep, and neither one stirred till the morning light.
Spencer opened his eyes first, and he propped himself up and just watched Aaron for a moment. The handsome features which often had a deep frown were relaxed and almost boyish. He wanted nothing more than to kiss him again, but he really needed coffee especially for the conversation he knew was to come.
About an hour later Aaron woke to the smell of bacon cooking. He got up, put on his clothes and made his way out to Spencer’s living room.
“Good morning,” He smiled as he pulled the genius in for a kiss.
“Mm,” Spencer moaned and wanted nothing more than to follow Aaron back to bed, but they needed a dose of reality.
“Breakfast is almost ready, there’s coffee, cups are on the shelf directly above,” Spencer was pulling away Aaron could tell, he knew the younger man would talk when he was ready and not before.
Aaron got a cup and poured himself some coffee. He slowly sipped the dark rich brew and waited.
“Aaron, as much as I enjoyed last night I made a life here. I don’t know if I want to go back.” Again, there was that double meaning, and Aaron’s heart cracked just a little.
“Spence,” He thought for a moment, “What if I,” He wondered if he could do it, wondered if he could move across country. Take Jack away from his school, his friends and his aunt. “What if I moved here?” He knew he hesitated too long, could see it in the genius’s face.
“Aaron, you and I both know that you wouldn’t be happy here in Vegas.” Spencer, pulled the bacon and the sausages he was cooking out of the pan and set them to drain.
“I could learn to be,” He knew he didn’t sound confident but he didn’t want to lose Spencer again.
“No, you couldn’t. Your heart is in Virginia, Jack’s life is there, you don’t want to tear him away from everything he knows. It wouldn’t be fair.” Spencer knew he was shielding himself from the pain, but Aaron had broken his trust, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to give his heart away again.
“Spence, I can’t let you go, not again.” Aaron was the one now that sounded broken, and Spencer was sorry to be the one to do it, but he had to protect himself.
Spencer sighed deeply, “Aaron, I don’t know if I can trust you again. I don’t know if I could give you my heart again. You don’t know what you put me through.” There was no anger only resignation in his voice.
Aaron got a bad feeling, and he reached for Spencer’s arms. Spencer let him, he didn’t fight Aaron off he wanted the prosecutor to see.
When Aaron shoved the sleeves up and saw there were more scars than before his heart shattered. It wasn’t just needle marks, there were other scars, and Aaron didn’t realize he was crying. Aaron had done this to Spencer. The best, sweetest gentlest person he ever encountered in his life, and he had done this to him.
“Spence,” Aaron choked on the whispered name. “I,” He closed his eyes not knowing what to say as he silently sobbed. Spencer wasn’t immune to Aaron’s pain, but he knew he needed to get out what he wanted to say.
“When I got to Vegas I was lost. I knew I was running. Running from you, running from Jason leaving, running from well-meaning friends but I couldn’t stay. I knew if I did I’d just keep going to the places that we went hoping just to get a glance of you. I couldn’t let myself do that. So, I ran here, at least I’d be near my mother. The first year wasn’t quite so easy. I fell back to Dilauded, and when that wasn’t working I started cutting. It was Dr. Norman, who realized something was wrong. He finally talked me into seeing a therapist. It was another year before I could stop.” He didn’t take his eyes off Aaron, didn’t let his emotions filter in, he stayed strong and stared hard at the man who had broken him.
Aaron wiped a hand down his face as he tried to get control of his feelings,“ There is nothing I could do that will ever make up for this Spencer-“ Aaron was about to say more when the genius stopped him.
“No there isn’t.” Spencer took his arms back, turned around and plated the food. After he was done, he went and got a piece of paper and wrote down an e-mail address.
Aaron looked at it confused. Spencer hated most kinds of technology. He tolerated a cell phone because he had to. Aaron knew from experience that all his lesson plans were always done by hand as well as the consults he used to do for the FBI.
“I broke down a couple of years ago and got a computer. It seems you can’t be a professor anymore unless you’re connected to the internet.” He for waited a beat, “Let’s start there. I do not promise anything. No phone calls, no Skype, JJ taught me, and it’s how I stay in contact with my godson.” He said when Aaron got an amused look on his face. “Just e-mail, we’ll work up to phone calls.” He waited for Aaron’s answer.
Aaron took the e-mail address and held it. He recognized it for what it was, an olive branch. A way to keep in touch, to start building trust again and Aaron thought it was the most wonderful thing in the world.
_________________________
THE FOURTH TIME
Six months later:
The phone call came at almost 10:00 at night.
“Aaron,” Aaron heard the voice say, he almost couldn’t make it out, “Help me.”
“Professor?” When there was no answer Aaron started to panic. They hadn’t quite worked up to phone calls yet, so he knew something was wrong. “Spencer, talk to me.”
“She’s dead,” was all Aaron heard.
“I’m coming to you Spencer, hang on, I’m coming.” He rushed and got a bag for himself, and Jack packed. There wasn’t time to call Jessica. He called the closest travel agency and got the absolute quickest flight out to Las Vegas he could. There was a red-eye, non-stop that was boarding in about an hour, and Aaron booked it. He called a cab, he didn’t want to have to deal with parking. Grabbing a sleepy Jack and their suitcases he was out the door by the time the taxi arrived. They got to the airport quickly and thanks to the late hour security went quick, and he just made it as they were calling for final boarding.
They landed in Las Vegas about five hours later. It was just after 3 in the morning, but Aaron didn’t care, Spencer needed him. He got a cab, he’d worry about a rental car later, and went to Spencer’s apartment.
He picked-up a very cranky Jack and their bags rushing up the stairs he pounded on Spencer’s door.
“Spencer, it’s Aaron let me in,” When there was no answer he cursed under his breath.
“Daddy, you said a bad word,” Jack looked shocked at his father.
“I did Jack, but Daddy is a little frustrated okay?” He knocked again and this time the door opened and standing in front of him was a disheveled, heartbroken man.
“Aaron,” Spencer wrapped himself around Aaron and cried.
Aaron brought strong arms around Spencer and held him tight, letting the younger man cry on his shoulder.
“Uncle Spencer?” Jack said quietly.
“Jack, can you get one of your books and go sit over there?” Aaron asked him calmly pointing to the couch.
“Okay, Daddy.” Jack said quietly, and he thankfully obeyed.
Aaron slowly walked the two of them back into Spencer’s bedroom and laid down on the bed with the younger man still clutching him.
“Spencer, what’s going on?” Aaron asked gently.
“She’s gone Aaron, my mom, she’s,” He couldn’t say anymore, the pain was too much as he broke down. Aaron just pulled him in tighter and held him. After a while the Professor was spent, and he fell asleep safely wrapped up in Aaron’s arms.
The morning came too fast, and when Aaron woke up, he felt more than one person in the bed and looked down to see Jack snuggled up to Spencer, and the Professor wrapped around the little boy. Aaron realized then the full extent of what he had done five years earlier.
“I’m so sorry,” He said quietly to the young boy and Spencer. He quietly got up and went to go make coffee. He easily found everything and had a pot brewing when Spencer stumbled into the kitchen.
“I thought I dreamed you,” Spencer said with a quizzical look on his face.
“No, you didn’t dream me, Spencer. You, called and I got here as fast as I could.” He pulled the younger man in for a hug, “Tell me, what’s going on? Did something happen to your mother?”
“She,” Spencer pulled away and started pacing, “She had a brain aneurysm. Dr. Norman called me,” He looked up at Aaron, “I don’t know what to do Aaron.” The lost look in his eyes broke Aaron’s heart that much more.
Aaron poured Spencer some coffee and put cream and sugar then handed it to him. He steered the two of them to the couch and sat down.
Spencer took a long drink to help settle himself. He looked at the coffee then at Aaron, “You remembered,” Spencer whispered absently.
“Of course, I do Spencer, I remember everything. I may not have an eidetic memory, but,” A flash of pain crosses his face, “I love you, Spencer,” Aaron said before he could stop himself. “I’ve never stopped loving you, and I was stupid and foolish,“ Spencer lay a hand on his cutting off what he was going to say.
“I think I understand now.” Spencer breathed deep, “I’m stuck, Aaron. If you hadn’t shown up when you did…” He let that thought go.
“Please tell me you didn’t,” Aaron's voice was full of anguish knowing the pain that his love was in.
“I didn’t, but I wanted to,” He hung his head in shame for what he had contemplated going out and doing.
Aaron grabbed his hands and made Spencer look at him, “Spencer, there is no shame in that, okay?” He picked up one hand and kissed the back.
Just then a sleepy Jack came into the living room, “Uncle Spencer,” He ran up to the professor and wrapped his arms around Spencer’s legs.
Spencer smiled despite the situation. He picked up the little boy that he had been missing for the last five years. “Jack,” He hugged him close getting lost in the feeling of the small body against him. After a few minutes, Jack got down and sat close to Spencer not wanting to let him go.
“He missed you.” Aaron sighed deeply, “I know now is not the time, but I want to talk to you, but we’ll have plenty of time for that.”
Spencer just looked at Aaron for a few minutes, “Aaron,” He swallowed hard, “Let’s just deal with today.” He said sadly.
“What do you need?” Aaron asked him softly.
“Just be here, help me,” Spencer looked so lost and alone that all Aaron wanted to do was wrap him in his arms and never let go again.
“I’m never going to leave you again Spencer,” Aaron took a hold of the younger man’s hand, and Spencer closed his eyes and silently cried.
They spent the next three days taking care of Dr. Diana Reid. Aaron assisted with the arrangements as well as helping to clean out her room at Bennington.
Later after they had brought all of Dr. Diana’s boxes up to Spencer’s apartment Aaron held Spencer close to him relishing in the feel of his love in his arms. “Why don’t you come back with us Spencer,” Aaron asked softly stroking Spencer’s hair.
“Aaron,” He sighed, he didn’t know exactly what he wanted. He and Aaron were still building trust with each other, and he wasn't sure he was ready for this.
“I promise you I won’t make the same mistakes. But, if you don’t want to come back,” Aaron took a deep breath and knew what a commitment he was going to be making, “Then I’ll move here.”
Spencer sat up and looked hard at Aaron for a few minutes, “Why?” Spencer thought he knew why, but he wanted to hear it from Aaron himself.
“I made terrible mistakes Spencer, but I wasn’t lying when I said that I love you, I never stopped loving you. I just want a chance to prove myself to you.” Aaron closed his eyes, and he let silent tears fall.
Spencer moved to straddle Aaron and he bent down to kiss him. The kisses turned passionate, and before they knew it they were naked with Aaron showing him everything he was feeling. When he finally slipped inside his professor Aaron wanted to cry. His movements were slow, gentle and loving. Spencer threw his arms around his lover and pulled him close kissing him deeply. And when he came he closed his eyes and tried to imagine his life without the counselor. The knowledge that he would uproot his life for Spencer was a powerful thing.
They were wrapped up in each other’s arms, “I want you to be sure Aaron, really sure this time. I love you, but I couldn’t go through that again. I can’t be rejected like that again. You need to trust me, trust this that is between us.” He grabbed Aaron’s hand and twined their fingers together, “I know you were frozen, stuck but I would have waited for you to come back to me. I understand the grief, but I haven’t pushed you away. I let you in when I could have told you to leave. That’s how much I’ve come to trust you again.” Spencer closed his eyes as he laid his head on Aaron’s chest.
“And I will do everything to keep that trust, Spencer.” He closed his eyes as he carded his fingers through Spencer’s hair. “Come back, let me prove to you that I’ve changed, that I want you with me, with us.”
“You’ll have to give me some time to think about this, to process this. I can’t right now Aaron, just give me some time.” Spencer knew Aaron didn’t like his answer, but he also knew that the older man loved him and would wait.
“I’ll give you all the time you need,” Aaron sighed. He had hoped the man he loved would be coming back with him, but he understood his hesitation.
“Aaron, I didn’t say no,” Spencer levered himself up on one arm looking down, “I love you, and I want to be sure.” He kissed Aaron softly before getting up.
Aaron watched after the man he loved and vowed to prove himself. There were a few things he wanted to do when he got back to show Spencer just how committed he was this time.
He stayed a few more days helping Spencer sort the boxes and figure out what was donation and what Spencer wanted to keep. When Spencer found the box of letters, he just sat on the middle of his bed, silent tears falling.
Aaron went to go check on him, “Professor? Spence?” He sat on the bed next to his lover seeing the grief on his face broke his heart all over again.
“She kept them all,” Spencer smiled sadly, “She even organized them by month, date and subject.” He swallowed hard against the lump in his throat.
Aaron didn’t know what to say, so he just sat with him as he looked through the box. Spencer pulled out a letter and opened it reading it again shattered him, and he openly sobbed.
Aaron pulled the letter out of his hand, and Spencer didn’t protest. When he read it, he realized what it was. Spencer had written about Haley’s death, Aaron leaving him and his heartbreak over Jack. Aaron’s shame and anger at himself grew. When he was done he slowly folded up the letter and put it back in the box and put the box aside.
Aaron pulled the sobbing younger man into his arms, “Spencer, I can never make up for the damage I’ve done.” He carded his fingers through the professor’s hair, “But please, please let me try.” Aaron was on the verge of tears himself.
Spencer calmed down after a while, “Give me time Counselor.” Spencer said as he lay curled up next to Aaron and contemplated all the decisions he was going to have to think about.
“Okay.” Aaron left it at that. He knew he wasn’t going to get an answer today, so he left it alone for now.
Aaron left two days later with just him and Jack and it was breaking his heart. He knew he needed to give Spencer time, but hadn’t they wasted too much time already? He thought. He knew he was being unfair, but he knew what he wanted, and it was Dr. Spencer Reid.
_________________________
THE FIFTH AND LAST TIME
Three Months Later:
Aaron was anxiously waiting at the airport. He was practically bouncing on his heels in anticipation.
“Dad, calm down, he’ll be here,” Jack said as he held his father’s hand.
“I know, I’m just excited,” He smiled down at the boy.
Just then he heard a voice calling out, “Aaron, Jack,” They saw a long arm waving to them.
Aaron couldn’t contain his excitement as he ran over to Spencer and grabbed the younger man in a hug and as he kissed him fiercely he ignored the clapping as well as the whoops and hollers.
“Hello Professor,” Aaron said as he pulled away slightly from the younger man tucking loose hair behind his ears.
“Hello Counselor,” Spencer replied once again hugging the older man close.
“Hey, what about me?” Jack tugged on Spencer’s pants.
Spencer smiled wide and got down on his knees and pulled Jack in for a hug, “Could never forget about you buddy.” After a couple of minutes, he pulled Jack away and stood.
“We just need your stuff then we can go.” Aaron smiled, happier than he’d been in a long time.
They grabbed Spencer’s suitcases and headed towards Aaron’s car. When they don’t go the direction Spencer knew Aaron’s apartment was he got confused.
“Um Aaron, where are you going? Isn’t your apartment in the opposite direction?” he asked.
“We’re going fine. Just be patient,” Aaron smiled at Spencer who was sitting in the front seat next to him. A little while later when they pulled up into the driveway of a house Spencer was confused.
“Aaron, what are we doing here?” The professor asked.
“This is ours, Spence,” Aaron said as he got out of the car and pulled the suitcases out of the trunk.
Spencer got out and just stared at the house. It was like man of the ones they had talked about before the break-up.
“Well don’t just stand there, come on.” Aaron smiled as he held the door open for Spencer.
He walked in and saw a comfortable living room, a roomy kitchen, dining area, and four bedrooms, one which was completely empty. As he walked around he saw Aaron’s old furniture but not much in the way of decorations. The master bedroom had beautiful dark heavy furniture, and the master bath looked to be recently renovated.
“Um, Aaron?” Spencer finally spoke after looking around.
“I bought it just after Vegas,” Aaron told him.
“Why?” He couldn’t quite keep the incredulity out of his voice.
“For us,” Aaron felt a little shy and awkward he had hoped that Spencer liked it, now he wasn’t so sure.
“What’s the empty room for?” Spencer’s heart was beating so fast he wasn’t sure what to think.
“It’s yours. I figured you’d want a space, an office or we could build bookshelves…whatever you want.” Aaron waited to see what Spencer was going to do or say. He Spun around and grabbed Aaron in a hug and pulled him tight.
“Spencer, I want you to move in with us.” He whispered in the younger man’s ear, “I want more, but it can wait. I want to build your trust in me again, and I want this, us. I love you so much, and I want to prove it to you every day.” Aaron said as he held onto the professor.
“Yes, Aaron I’ll move in with you.”
_________________________
The empty room was turned into a combination library office. Aaron traveled back to Vegas with Spencer to sort his belongings and take back to Virginia what he wanted. It was mostly his living room furniture, books and a few odds and ends. Everything else he donated.
Spencer was courted by several schools for a professorship when they heard he was back in town. He finally chose the Biochemistry department at Georgetown, having acquired the degree while he was teaching in Vegas. Spencer also taught a few psychology classes as well. He was adjusting back to life in Virginia quite well.
“Are you really sure about this Spence?” His former colleague and friend JJ or Jennifer Jareau had asked him when they met for coffee. “He broke more than your heart Spence.” She took his hand in hers and held it for a minute.
“I’m cautious JJ, but he is really trying, and honestly we’ve been working up to this. I’m not saying that complete trust is there yet, but we’re working on it.” Spencer smiled.
“Well, I hope it works out for you because if it doesn’t I can always have Will go kick his smug lawyer’s ass for you.” She half-joked.
Spencer laughed, “Jayje, you won’t have to do that, but thank you for the offer.” He breathed deep, “I think he has changed JJ, so I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt, for now.” He reassured her that he was indeed protecting his heart, but he wanted to see for himself what this new relationship with Aaron would bring.
Aaron, for his part, was patient, caring and treated Spencer with the utmost respect. He showed the genius just how much he was loved. Of course, they fought, but it was never to cause pain. They had a major adjustment period for learning how to live together and deal with each other's quirks. The biggest being how jealous Aaron Hotchner could be. After one particularly bad blowout, Aaron realized how bad it was and promised to work on it.
All in all the couple was happy as they settled down into the life they were building with each other.
_________________________
The dinner date was going wonderful. Aaron had regained much of Spencer’s trust after the professor had moved-in with him. Aaron had taken Spencer to the Italian restaurant that they had gone to on their second date. The last year they had their ups and downs but the couple was happy and when anything bad happened they turned to each other and neither of them ran away.
When the dessert came Aaron was nervous and fidgety. It was the same dessert that the couple had ordered on their second date. The restaurant didn’t normally serve it anymore, but Aaron had called several days beforehand to see if they would make it special. When he explained why the owner was delighted to help out.
“You remembered.” Spencer smiled widely.
“I told you before I remember everything about us Spencer.” He picked up the spoon and like the first time he fed Spencer bits of the rich chocolate.
“Aaron, are you okay?” Spencer asked with a slightly worried expression.
“I’m fine,” He said. He had wanted to wait for the perfect moment. It finally came a few moments later just after they were done as they were sitting sipping their coffees.
Aaron suddenly got down on one knee in front of Spencer and pulled out the small box he had in his pocket. He opened the box and pulled out a ring.
Spencer sat there wide eyed and not moving, “Dr. Spencer Reid, will you marry me?” Aaron waited with bated breath for Spencer’s answer.
Spencer looked shocked at the ring. The band was in the shape of the police box from Doctor Who. The ring was white gold, and the square cut diamond that sat between the two halves of the ring was not feminine at all. Spencer was overcome that Aaron would find something so uniquely perfect for him.
“Yes, yes Aaron Hotchner I will marry you,” Spencer grabbed Aaron’s face and bent down and kissed him long, slow and deep. Everyone in the restaurant started clapping loudly, and the restaurant owner passed bottles of champagne, on the house, to everyone there to toast the happy couple.
Later that night when they fell into their bed Aaron made love slowly to Spencer. He wanted to savor every moment of this night and every night to come. When they were both spent wrapped up in each other Aaron asked an important question.
“Spencer, there’s something else I wanted to talk to you about.” Aaron’s heart was racing as he thought about what he wanted to ask the professor.
“What is it?” Spencer was scared, hadn’t he just been asked to be married? What was it that Aaron wanted?
“Professor, Jack adores you. He,” Aaron sighed deeply. He never stopped loving Haley, and he always tried to keep her alive for Jack, but he knew Jack was moving on, and that was what helped Aaron to move on as well. “Jack loves you like a parent Spencer. I’ve already talked to him about this.” Aaron knew this was a big decision and hoped Spencer would consider it. “Spencer, I’d like you to adopt Jack.”
Spencer sat up quickly, his heart pounding fast. Marrying Aaron was a big enough commitment, but adopting Jack? This was Aaron’s ultimate gift of trust, he trusted Spencer with his own son. He was stunned, and at first, he didn’t know how to answer.
“Spencer?” Aaron was nervous. Maybe this was too much too fast? But it’s been a year. Aaron thought. “I’m sorry, it’s too much. Maybe we should…”
Spencer lunged at Aaron kissing him hard and passionately. “Yes, yes Aaron I will adopt Jack.” He then took his lover in a fast, passionate, frantic pace as he let the last of his reservations melt away. Aaron giving him Jack meant that the counselor really did mean this relationship to be forever and it was invigorating for Spencer.
Two months later the ceremony was simple and perfect. Dave Rossi insisted on hosting it at his mansion. He had come to adore Spencer, though it took him a while to understand Aaron’s attraction to the strange young genius. He was ecstatic the two had found happiness with each other.
All their friends and family were there as they made their commitment to each other and to Jack. When it was over, and the newly married couple was cuddled up in bed they knew that this was for the rest of their lives.
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